21 days: An accountability partner

Welcome back to the 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life challenge. (See what the big deal is here, and buy the book to follow along here.)

Today was rough. And I almost didn’t write, but since I’ve put this whole thing out there, I’m going to try and stick with it – see, accountability! That’s the theme today.

One of my kids has really, really been struggling since our move. His behavior has gone from basically good to…well, less than that. And a series of decisions today (not terrible in the grand scheme of things, but so far from the kid we had just six months ago, and disrespectful to several people!)  just snapped me out of my assumption that he’ll grow out of it.

Montessori and the open source way

Montessori and the open source way (Photo credit: opensourceway)

So I’m changing things up here in a major way. This child and I will be spending a lot more time together – I am “gluing” him to me. It’s kind of a version of a couple of parenting and Montessori techniques, but I find that it helps with kids when they need extra, whether it’s extra guidance, instruction, or even just attention. Usually, kids are glued to the adult for short periods of time, to snap out of misbehavior, or to redirect their play. But for now, this will be basically an all day thing – a lot for both him and me! He’ll be accompanying me where I go, and helping me out. We’ll have playtime, too, but in the same room.

Basically, I believe that respect and the right to parent stems from our connection with our children, and that to make the kind of changes that we need to make, we need to first strengthen our connection. I need a firm basis to stand on when making requests and changes, and he needs an extra dose of attention and guidance. Or rather, a series or doses.

A second part of this technique is that if I let him go off on his own, I can’t be monitoring his behavior, and he needs monitoring right now. Any corrections are immediate, in-the-moment, and  I know the full story and can respond appropriately. And so he is stuck with me, and I with him. 😉 We will work together to get through this and get him feeling and behaving better.

So how does this tie in to the 21 day challenge? It’s not clearly on my laid-out plan, but it is something far more important, and so I’m reworking this time of remodeling and growth as part of my challenge. And my accountability partner is my husband. We’ve talked through a lot of what our goals for this kiddo are and will be checking in throughout the days and week to stay focused and progressing and bounce ideas off of each other.

I know that my initial goal for this challenge of daily routines isn’t where I’ve been headed, but I intend to get there soon. I just need to follow the needs of my family, and now is the time!

My desk and kitchen are still cleared off, at any rate, so that is certainly progress!

About Amital

A die-hard listmaker and observant Jewish mommy of 5, managing the challenges of life bit by bit with the help of a Shalom Bayit book and lists. And chocolate, of course. Lots of chocolate.

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