What NOT to do list.

list (Photo credit: macwagen)

One way to simplify your life is to have a to-do list. You’ll know what needs to be done and can better apply yourself to those things. But something else you might find helpful is a “NOT to do list.” Mine will be different from yours, but having one helps you consider your limits and put yourself on autopilot for some of these decisions.

Here are some of the things on my list. I do not:

• Iron. I only buy no-iron shirts, and I try to fold clothing that wrinkles while it is still hot so it doesn’t wrinkle much, if at all. If I don’t get it while it’s hot, I leave it in the dryer until the next go-round, and then try again.
• Buy hand wash or dry-clean only clothing. There are a few exceptions to this, like dh’s suits and a few (very) special occasion outfits. But for the most part, as I’m looking at items to buy, if it’s dry-clean only, I skip right on past. (There is so much “evidence” of my kids on my clothes that this is more than justified for me!)
• Sort my laundry. Again, with very little exception (like very occasionally whites that need to be brightened), I don’t sort my laundry. I have a great laundry system that works really well for us. And there are few whites there other than undershirts and tzitzit (why so few whites? See above re: kids 🙂 ), so we just don’t sort.
• Get out of the house every day. I used to try to get out of the house and go “somewhere” every day because that is what is expected. But getting out just to get out – and often going somewhere to spend money just because – is silly. Running around busily because it is what they say “should” be done is silly. My life doesn’t always follow the general expectations, and I’m OK with that. It’s easier to spend more time at home and less money. We’re in more than we’re out, and we like it that way!
• Make my bed, or have my kids make theirs. Everyone is responsible to pull up their blanket (including us, although I do take 30 seconds to make it look a little nicer in our room usually), but that’s it. My kids don’t even have a top sheet! It’s just their fitted sheet, a pillow, and a knotted fleece blanket one of my sisters made for each child. So if their blanket is on their bed, I call it good enough.
• Bathe the kids every day. In the winter, when they aren’t getting as dirty, it may be even less. Or more, as they apply a yogurt mask or sauce themselves down in the entree. 😉
• Change towels after every shower/bath. We do it once a week for the kids in the winter, maybe twice in the summer. If there is reason to feel they need to be changed, they are. Otherwise, they get clean towels on Friday, l’kavod Shabbat (in honor of the Sabbath).
• Cook something special every night. We are big fans of our freezer, and often I make a recipe in a double or triple batch to reheat and eat again later. And we had cereal for dinner one night this week at the request of the kids (dh wasn’t home until late). And carrot sticks – my kids believe that no meal is complete with carrot sticks.
• Do each activity by the book. I often modify things as I’m working with the kids. For example, for the child who hates to write, we do some work orally or <gasp> I write for him! He has plenty of writing, spelling, and grammar work. If the purpose of the activity we’re on is not one of those, but something else, like creative thinking or geography, we keep it the focus and take out the hated writing. Knowing your kids and their individual strengths and weaknesses makes this kind of thing even easier.
• Host guests every week. Some weeks we do. Some weeks we take off. Some weeks there are no guests to be had out here!
• Stick to the plan OR ELSE. Years ago, a family ahead of us at a fair was forcing their young child onto a ride, angrily saying with gritted teeth, “Get in the spaceship!” I don’t think that’s a fond memory for anyone from that family. So now saying “Get in the spaceship!” is code between my husband and I to remind us that sometimes, it’s OK to adjust the plan or even toss it out the window. Especially with (multiple) little ones, things that can be flexible should be.
• Apologize for the mess to guests. Actually, I’m still working on this one. But I had someone say to me a few months ago, “You’re always saying sorry for the mess, but I don’t see a mess at all!” And this is a woman with no kids! So I just welcome people in and try not to cringe as a trail of books gets left behind my youngest…it’s educational, right?

I know I’ve missed some.

What’s on your NOT to do list?